About G3R : I'm 20 years old. I go to UAB and got hooked to FML a few of years ago after I ran across it on the iPhone app store. FML is now one of my favorite applications. All the stories crack me up.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (2844)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (2096)
On 10/21/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by shs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (6824)
On 10/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by obsceene - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17526) - you deserved it (2084)
On 10/17/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was driving down the road. A giant seagull flew into my windsheild and shattered it. If that is not bad enough, the carcass slid up my windshield, into my sunroof, and suddenly I had a bloody, dead passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (1932)
On 10/08/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35611) - you deserved it (4564)
On 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by ringhider (man) - France (Lorraine)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59558) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (21681)
On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7200) - you deserved it (21259)
On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (23311)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (1664)
On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (54669)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (4106)
On 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (17441)
On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (33929)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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