About G3R : I'm 20 years old. I go to UAB and got hooked to FML a few of years ago after I ran across it on the iPhone app store. FML is now one of my favorite applications. All the stories crack me up.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (2855)
On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91097) - you deserved it (6399)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (24176)
On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (6146)
On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (18871)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60881) - you deserved it (7586)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (24880)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46232) - you deserved it (7108)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (3272)
On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10859) - you deserved it (53598)
On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (4474)
On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was texting a girl I like. Every message she sent came ten minutes after I sent her a message. When I told her "I've to go", she responded almost instantly with an "Ok, bye". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (8369)
On 03/12/2011 at 9:43am - love - by AuraOfJustice - United States
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (5110)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50362) - you deserved it (2888)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (3376)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
