About G3R : I'm 20 years old. I go to UAB and got hooked to FML a few of years ago after I ran across it on the iPhone app store. FML is now one of my favorite applications. All the stories crack me up.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (5291)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15202) - you deserved it (1259)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (1252)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you deserved it (34767)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17498) - you deserved it (6463)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (1685)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (1608)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (3635)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (5231)
On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (11138)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (37881)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (2218)
On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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