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G0v3nat0r's favorite FMLs
by anun / 01/14/2010 at 9:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by VCR / 12/20/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by denise / 11/23/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
by WorstMedicalBill / 11/20/2009 at 9:53am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML
by Tragics / 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
by ravestradamus / 10/12/2009 at 8:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/11/2009 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Newport) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML
by perfectmoment / 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by 310 / 10/09/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
by homersgirl / 09/30/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
- Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I… Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not… Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up.…