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G0v3nat0r's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
G0v3nat0r's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by pillowless / 10/13/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by ksamp / 10/12/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
- Today, after years of public sector pay freezes, I finally got a 1% pay rise. Thanks to an increase… Today, i found out after spending 5 hours yesterday cleaning my 2 cars which needed it badly that… Today, I got my first job. I went in to work this afternoon fine, and came out with severe burns on…