Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fyrepower

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 9:04pm) | Search for a member

Fyrepower

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 433
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fyrepower : Whacha want to know about me? kik: Izzy_da_king Instagram: All_hail_king_izzy
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." ~ Samuel Beckett
"Life is fun, Gus, if you really want it to be." - Shawn Spencer
One Treeh Hill and Psych are the best shows ever

Fyrepower's page activity

Visits<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:22pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:13am<b>WinterBlue42</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:29am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:50pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:28pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:20am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Drskitz</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:35am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:33pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:59am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:44pm<b>jaeaton</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:38am<b>not_adumb_blonde</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:25am<b>stickydank420</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:56pm

Fyrepower's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Fyrepower's badges

Fyrepower's favorite FMLs

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40402) - you deserved it (6414)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (6114)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50619) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39487) - you deserved it (4430)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54076) - you deserved it (6482)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44957) - you deserved it (5571)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

#20976101
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40881) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by flatchested Sam - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

#20976009
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (2253)

On 11/30/2013 at 5:46pm - misc - by UglyFace (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42962) - you deserved it (17454)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47403) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21142) - you deserved it (42656)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46004) - you deserved it (12102)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: