Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fyrepower

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Fyrepower

5Fucked!

FyrepowerFyrepower
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fyrepower : Whacha want to know about me? kik: Izzy_da_king Instagram: I.am.king.izzy
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." ~ Samuel Beckett
"Life is fun, Gus, if you really want it to be." - Shawn Spencer
One Tree Hill and Psych are 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
Somebody Message me😜🌚😛🐉

Fyrepower's page activity

Visits<b>austinbaa</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:10am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:28pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:03pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:12am<b>ginnylin</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:35pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:45pm<b>lennon_</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:55am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:24am<b>dilara_xo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:16am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:17am<b>Savannahlynn214</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:50pm<b>BexxyBb</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:26pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:53am<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>ShinigamiFML</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:58pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:17am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:48pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:03am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Psychosys</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:26pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:23pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:28pm

Fyrepower's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Fyrepower's badges

Fyrepower's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (8955)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (2832)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

#21456680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (1576)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

#21453366
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (1927)

On 08/08/2015 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (28274)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (4960)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (7037)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40542) - you deserved it (6150)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54388) - you deserved it (7375)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (4655)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58643) - you deserved it (7040)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: