Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Furytalon

Search for a member

Furytalon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2360
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.

Furytalon's page activity

Visits<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>tennischamp5</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:38pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>kansah</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 3:24am<b>007frodo</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:42pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 5:16pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:05am<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:38pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:51am<b>Irchell</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 5:03pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 2:41am<b>yagurlmb</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:31am<b>cba7</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:51pm<b>DJGraphix</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 2:06pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 12:53am<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 10:11pm<b>Kenneth91</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:56am

Furytalon's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Furytalon's badges

Furytalon's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (7627)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (6826)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (6826)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML

#7312861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/13/2010 at 12:29am - kids - by bern5555 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (3505)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (4118)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

#7020543
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (9424)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (5779)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20485) - you deserved it (13256)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

#6806655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (19456)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Jssceli09 (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (4062)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: