About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.
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Furytalon's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML
by fuuuuck / 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by shockedgirl / 01/16/2010 at 2:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML
by bern5555 / 01/13/2010 at 12:29am / United States (Idaho) / Kids
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
by Foxy / 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by silverstar189 / 01/01/2010 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
by andy / 01/01/2010 at 9:12am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
by Rawr / 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
by GlassPwn / 12/19/2009 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
by Jssceli09 / 12/18/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to…