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Furytalon

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Furytalon
  • Town/Country : Woodbridge, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1758
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.

Furytalon's last visitors

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Furytalon's favorite FMLs

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (49641)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68321) - you deserved it (22513)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66017) - you deserved it (22435)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (71780)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131868) - you deserved it (5773)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46656) - you deserved it (7596)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54706) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4717) - you deserved it (17489)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4717) - you deserved it (17489)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17561) - you deserved it (1491)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (9123)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)



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