About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.
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Furytalon's favorite FMLs
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML
by EmBAREassed / 07/31/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 9:33am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Work
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
by bsaucedo / 07/28/2009 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML
by partycats / 07/23/2009 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nonmormon / 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
by ohman / 07/17/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a couple came into the gas station where I work to ask for directions. While I was giving the woman directions (and even writing them down to be as helpful as possible), the man stole my wallet out of my purse that was sitting on the other end of the counter behind a display. FML
by lobotomized / 07/12/2009 at 11:15pm / United States / Money
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
by Cody / 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by conductingfromthegrave / 07/01/2009 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney…