About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Furytalon's favorite FMLs
by namhtor / 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
by grossgross / 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
by georgiana072 / 09/22/2009 at 3:36am / Philippines (Benguet) / Miscellaneous
by whasian / 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML
by OutOfLuck / 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
by suzanneallen / 09/11/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Intheway / 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by peepeepants / 08/18/2009 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by rick / 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML
by ugh.. / 08/09/2009 at 11:27am / United States (Alaska) / Kids
Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML
by badbestfriend / 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…