About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.
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Furytalon's favorite FMLs
by tbalboa / 07/01/2011 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML
by Drunken Sailor / 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Username / 06/27/2011 at 4:56am / United States / Intimacy
by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
by Inconnu / 06/18/2011 at 1:13am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
by / 06/16/2011 at 10:43am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:10am / Australia / Health
by Username / 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by teinage / 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Transportation
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money
by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…