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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (2417)
On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27038) - you deserved it (2939)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (2770)
On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (3326)
On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (53312)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10069) - you deserved it (32892)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14028) - you deserved it (47980)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11905) - you deserved it (40404)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm - misc - by knighton16 (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (32114)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got home from work after an eleven hour work day completely exhausted. But I promised myself I'd go for a run everyday. I went in the dark. A skunk chased me, and sprayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (3877)
On 07/16/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by izzme79 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (37924)
On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (17664)
On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States
Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9653) - you deserved it (17015)
On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (8545)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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