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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
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  • Number of visits : 10307
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40225) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (5584)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (5416)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (6759)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

#21097662
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (8247)

On 03/27/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by Dragoness11 - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32503) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37033) - you deserved it (2580)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (33266)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (6847)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (3571)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (4490)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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