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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg

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  • Number of visits : 58798
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (21605)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (21605)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

#18128674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - money - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12558) - you deserved it (57376)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32748) - you deserved it (6522)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML

#18127002
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56153) - you deserved it (5988)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by Halle - United States (California)

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32418) - you deserved it (4321)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37183) - you deserved it (5146)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (3239)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

#18120485
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (6051)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (3887)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

#18119060
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6738) - you deserved it (45113)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by j3r3zana16 (woman) - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

#18117360
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (8923)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using my boyfriend's phone to call my mom. A text message arrived from "Christina" that said, "Just put the kids to bed, come over." He swears they're only work buddies, but refuses to tell her he has a girlfriend, to avoid making things weird at work. We've been together two years. FML

#18114976
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (4402)

On 10/30/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Beantown girl (woman) - United States



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