Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Search for a member

FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10706
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's last visitors

MathewBlackPoppy8127lemon_lime741EnmaYamatoRaelthelambmomsquaredelmatador615xgardianBatgirl124TheRoyalDog

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

#15051482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4764)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm - health - by bouncekitty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

#15049456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45543) - you deserved it (6587)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (3023)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23332) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

#15048798
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5221) - you deserved it (37462)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8657) - you deserved it (67465)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (33136)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (5032)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

#15035119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (7006)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by inthecold (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (7562)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

#15031237
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (7477)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (10220)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: