Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Online | Search for a member

FuhrerBurg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 42884
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's page activity

Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>IAmJad</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>AriaRose3</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:46pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:34am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>momsquared</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>xgardian</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:24pm<b>TheRoyalDog</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:24pm<b>Haxie</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:42am<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:28pm

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

#19287626
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

#19287255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (10150)

On 03/16/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by Winx - United States (Alaska)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (26717)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25592) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (5012)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
191 comments

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (32793)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (10953)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (3173)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (2018)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (5857)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10491) - you deserved it (32121)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (3316)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: