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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (48658)
On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (1679)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (2881)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper "no fat chicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (5605)
On 05/15/2009 at 7:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (1208)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (1208)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (2280)
On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68465) - you deserved it (2527)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62501) - you deserved it (4610)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (59280)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53878) - you deserved it (4291)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (10052)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by peoplesuck (man) - United States
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97011) - you deserved it (8080)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (19124)
On 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43738) - you deserved it (2456)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Monday 20 May 2013
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