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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10609
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (10884)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

#18325691
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (1388)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34487) - you deserved it (4135)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10775) - you deserved it (40305)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

#18315687
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (14794)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:09am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (4975)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

#18309913
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (1914)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - love - by madison77 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

#18309912
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (2076)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by whyyy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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