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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 10296
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (8378)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (3406)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (1596)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8997) - you deserved it (10880)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

#18325691
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19267) - you deserved it (1388)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (4135)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10774) - you deserved it (40303)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -



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