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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10920
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (10369)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7250) - you deserved it (62120)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (15519)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42343) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (4631)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (4383)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17714) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (5172) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (5172) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (5646)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (5646)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26373) - you deserved it (8408)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States



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