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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10686
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (7066)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (50661)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (5755)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (2629)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

#18434138
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (34041)

On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (42540)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (10367)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7250) - you deserved it (62110)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)



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