Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Online | Search for a member

FuhrerBurg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 83190
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's page activity

Visits<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:04am<b>airhead2015</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>IAmJad</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>AriaRose3</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:46pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:34am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>momsquared</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>xgardian</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:24pm<b>TheRoyalDog</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:24pm

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (1913)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (2190)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29372) - you deserved it (11453)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

#20084697
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (1515)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (2670)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (9116)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6925) - you deserved it (55008)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (2438)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (4309)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (1639)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: