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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10766
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (2646)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (34594)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (2492)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

#18638561
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

#18632111
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6895) - you deserved it (24467)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:59am - misc - by GeriGeriBoBeri - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

#18631126
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (1633)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:32am - health - by loveurlifejk - United States

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

#18631063
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (306)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (2928)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (2060)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8061) - you deserved it (33167)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

#18623946
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (4867)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:20am - intimacy - by gtfoocd (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

#18620237
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (1925)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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