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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10843
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (2526)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30149) - you deserved it (4874)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

#18692493
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36688) - you deserved it (5486)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1660)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

#18682352
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/02/2012 at 1:45am - money - by ... - United States

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (6544)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (7423)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2858)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML

#18667282
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (6544)

On 12/31/2011 at 8:22pm - misc - by Livewire (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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