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50 favourites
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Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4321) - you deserved it (28766)
On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7216) - you deserved it (41541)
On 09/03/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by iTerrify (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (42485)
On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (16573)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (16573)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54370) - you deserved it (9450)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (2785)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was able to check my voicemail and email for the first time in two weeks. The only message I got was from my landlord telling me that the house I'm renting is in foreclosure, and I needed to have all my stuff out in ten days. He left the message nine days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (3940)
On 09/03/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (33253)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you deserved it (5203)
On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41556) - you deserved it (12301)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39168) - you deserved it (1894)
On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (37753)
On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9096) - you deserved it (39818)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13067) - you deserved it (5755)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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