This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (4903)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (19341)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (17793)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:24pm - money - by someexplanationrequired (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (2708)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (31946)
On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59492) - you deserved it (2973)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (4572)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44397) - you deserved it (1578)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55425) - you deserved it (4006)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (2924)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32395) - you deserved it (4036)
On 08/02/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by epicfail (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (50204)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54700) - you deserved it (11469)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (6881)
On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (45872)
On 08/01/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by homewrecker (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
