This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (4713)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17561) - you deserved it (31864)
On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42257) - you deserved it (3601)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (1987)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (1987)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (31788)
On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50352) - you deserved it (5371)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was working at a shoe store and was helping a dude try on shoes. He looked like trouble and I wanted to finish with him. When he finally picked his shoes, he abruptly stood up and ran out of the store with the shoes on. The cost of them was deducted from my salary. $240. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (3114)
On 08/15/2009 at 8:49pm - money - by smallpaycheck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9972) - you deserved it (38079)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (26476)
On 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by wimp (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9384) - you deserved it (40412)
On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50663) - you deserved it (5026)
On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59177) - you deserved it (2805)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (16802)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49227) - you deserved it (3595)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
