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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47369) - you deserved it (33410)
On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (3013)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (71703)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (9243)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Rainbow92 (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)
Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (5602)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52952) - you deserved it (3138)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38438) - you deserved it (8813)
On 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm - love - by LifeFucksUsAll (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (3524)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (12559)
On 08/19/2009 at 11:03am - love - by MariadelMar (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (7385)
On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (72751)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you deserved it (2493)
On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (3957)
On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (2358)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8892) - you deserved it (37697)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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