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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10372
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11139) - you deserved it (18540)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (2477)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (1993)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (2574)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (7474)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (30367)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (40054)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6435) - you deserved it (27181)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (3794)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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