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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (11720)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (3111)
On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (3111)
On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (3111)
On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (79592)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (79592)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (34111)
On 08/26/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by technologyfail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55087) - you deserved it (2644)
On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6968) - you deserved it (45057)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (9180)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (7096)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:52pm - love - by sabbydutchgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (15639)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (9954)
On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (21508)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Monday 20 May 2013
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