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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74220) - you deserved it (3633)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (2758)
On 08/31/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by UNmarried (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (8648)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2422)
On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)
Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (1795)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Notabum (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (6920)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)
Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (6920)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (3631)
On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I interviewed for a job at a pharmaceutical lab. During the interview, I said something about a past work experience that made the interviewers think that I would enjoy doing something similar to that... so they gave me a warehouse job instead. I have a degree in chemistry and biology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (2533)
On 08/30/2009 at 9:56pm - work - by Pissssd (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9797) - you deserved it (24766)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by pootythe5th (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6932) - you deserved it (52705)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (6501)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (2406)
On 08/29/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by ClydeBarrow - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (2538)
On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43791) - you deserved it (3559)
On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Monday 20 May 2013
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