Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Search for a member

FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10821
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's last visitors

unworldlyalexMathewBlackPoppy8127lemon_lime741EnmaYamatoRaelthelambmomsquaredelmatador615xgardianBatgirl124TheRoyalDog

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (11034)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (25194)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (25194)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15065) - you deserved it (5347)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

#19272838
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20002) - you deserved it (7067)

On 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (3334)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

#19267574
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12200) - you deserved it (22221)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
205 comments

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (3416)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (3416)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: