Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Search for a member

FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1036
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's last visitors

carry_onmylifesucksserioControlFreak83mokieloveM3DIC4T3kables3Blue_BlackBluekaren16buckdharma

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4318) - you deserved it (28713)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

#5023089
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10760) - you deserved it (42425)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49710) - you deserved it (16544)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49710) - you deserved it (16544)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54257) - you deserved it (9437)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40243) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was able to check my voicemail and email for the first time in two weeks. The only message I got was from my landlord telling me that the house I'm renting is in foreclosure, and I needed to have all my stuff out in ten days. He left the message nine days ago. FML

#5016306
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/03/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5013382
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7574) - you deserved it (33067)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (5200)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (12284)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (1892)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: