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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (2782)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (3678)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (2570)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (10282)
On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (20563)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48891) - you deserved it (2595)
On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40910) - you deserved it (2633)
On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (5847)
On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (9248)
On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (60313)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (3498)
On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49276) - you deserved it (6935)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54062) - you deserved it (2675)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51027) - you deserved it (4913)
On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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