Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Search for a member

FuhrerBurg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22838
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>IAmJad</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>AriaRose3</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:46pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:34am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>momsquared</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>xgardian</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:24pm<b>TheRoyalDog</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:24pm<b>Haxie</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:42am<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:28pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:17am

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (6479)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56667) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42729) - you deserved it (5173)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50859) - you deserved it (5893)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (3692)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (8105)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

#21182108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (4245)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm - health - by blackchin III (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (4958)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52768) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (6726)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48797) - you deserved it (13636)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: