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FuhrerBurg

Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 10:02pm) | Search for a member

FuhrerBurg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 112149
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FuhrerBurg's page activity

Visits<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:23pm<b>lemonypops</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:04am<b>airhead2015</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>IAmJad</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>AriaRose3</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:46pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:34am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>momsquared</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>xgardian</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:27am

Fucked!<b>lemonypops</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:40pm

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML

#21470076
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (1824)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

#21470063
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm - intimacy - by Lady Vulva of the Redwater (woman) -

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

#21470040
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you deserved it (1540)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

#21469924
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (5181)

On 09/18/2015 at 3:51pm - money - by Anownimous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML

Today, I was driving students home on my school bus. I looked up in time to see a student wipe what would be one of many boogers across the window. As I'm cleaning the window, I tell her, "This is disgusting." Her reply? "No, it's not. It's PERFECT!" FML

#21469702
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (1627)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:18pm - kids - by bigmozwoman (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

#21469489
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (5059)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by mother teresa was a cunt (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (1525)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

#21469422
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23204) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:14am - work - by Unemployed (man) -

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

#21469191
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (1746)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Urinator - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

#21469165
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

#21468899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (1404)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, my PE teacher yelled at me for not trying hard enough in class. This my second week back after being in the hospital with a collapsed lung. FML

#21468800
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (1566)

On 09/15/2015 at 2:05pm - health - by King_of_Cha0s - United States (California)



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