Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FuhrerBurg

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

FuhrerBurg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31512
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FuhrerBurg's page activity

Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>IAmJad</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>AriaRose3</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:46pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:07am<b>MathewBlack</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:34am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:23am<b>momsquared</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:18am<b>xgardian</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:24pm<b>TheRoyalDog</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:24pm<b>Haxie</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:42am<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:28pm

FuhrerBurg's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of FuhrerBurg's badges

FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (24018)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (35510)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (31901)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42731) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (3297)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (44961)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (4019)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (3005)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (3131)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46854) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (8404)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

#21234023
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45709) - you deserved it (2864)

On 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (6089)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: