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FuhrerBurg

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FuhrerBurg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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FuhrerBurg's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (2317)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML

#20668693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (5815)

On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39210) - you deserved it (3993)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27915) - you deserved it (12464)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (2317)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (3855)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (2324)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36469) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50397) - you deserved it (3108)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39221) - you deserved it (4364)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (2312)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36211) - you deserved it (2410)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54758) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)



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