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Fuerto203

Offline (the 09/25/2014 at 8:51am) | Search for a member

Fuerto203

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  • Number of visits : 345
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fuerto203's page activity

Visits<b>hexo21</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 2:21am<b>fzzt2</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:55pm

Fuerto203's FML badges

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Fuerto203's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6849) - you deserved it (54619)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

#20069142
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9891) - you deserved it (28064)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

#20026833
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (1441)

On 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (4768)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (4249)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (2734)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (3580)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (6508)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46496) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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