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About FuckmyPanties : Stupid shit happens to all of us. My shit is just beyond stupidity. It just Fails!
wanna contact me, www.myspace.com/samxpsychotic
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47446) - you deserved it (2144)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45129) - you deserved it (5950)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (35256)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (8116)
On 08/07/2009 at 7:17am - intimacy - by nikkrissa_04 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML
I agree, your life sucks (68315) - you deserved it (2616)
On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48523) - you deserved it (3009)
On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (5162)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10797) - you deserved it (36153)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13308) - you deserved it (31463)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50650) - you deserved it (5424)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2307)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11674) - you deserved it (36551)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61706) - you deserved it (32811)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (71175)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61469) - you deserved it (3169)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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