Jebem moj ______?
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you totally deserved it (4191)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you totally deserved it (3867)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you totally deserved it (3478)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you totally deserved it (19134)
On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming "I meant it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you totally deserved it (4910)
On 10/19/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you totally deserved it (8962)
On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you totally deserved it (8266)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you totally deserved it (1895) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you totally deserved it (8549)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you totally deserved it (5938)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you totally deserved it (12360)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you totally deserved it (2316)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25074) - you totally deserved it (3280)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5505) - you totally deserved it (24888)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laugh and made sexual comments about him that we thought he couldn't understand, he asks me "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (2607) - you totally deserved it (46519)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
