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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FuckMYIife

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FuckMYIife
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 754
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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FuckMYIife's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (1283)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (38271)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85948) - you deserved it (50907)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (54104)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

#637198 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (54327) - you deserved it (3159)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363080) - you deserved it (401427)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141732) - you deserved it (53043)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (5990) - you deserved it (26555)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)