I say "fuck" alot.
Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you totally deserved it (1438)
On 04/09/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by fedlife (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49831) - you totally deserved it (5072)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9323) - you totally deserved it (51322)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95935) - you totally deserved it (22423)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9809) - you totally deserved it (48082)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a letter from Princeton that said i got accepted. I jumped for joy screaming at the top of my lungs. My little brother walks in laughing with his camcorder on record. He played a joke on me and gave me the real letter. I was denied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (117978) - you totally deserved it (5179)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12723) - you totally deserved it (74161)
On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78141) - you totally deserved it (3755)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to "surprise mom later". Anxious to see him without his life-long beard, I willingly agreed. About half an hour later he exited the bathroom. Beard fully intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80782) - you totally deserved it (7492)
On 03/23/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by ButtahSauce (man) - United States (New York)
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