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FruityLoooons

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FruityLoooons

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2169
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About FruityLoooons : sometimes i'm gonna hit it, sometimes i'm gonna miss it.

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Fucked!<b>knobatnight</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:10am

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FruityLoooons's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (4988)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

#17565560
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29556) - you deserved it (9218)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41430) - you deserved it (3580)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

#17522033
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (8956)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44443) - you deserved it (3569)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (8427)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (14194)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (7921)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (28262)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53431) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54762) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36361) - you deserved it (3291)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (36617)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (5600)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (22935)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)



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