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Fruitmonster2's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/07/2011 at 8:12am / Sweden (Orebro Lan) / Love
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by dumbteacher / 11/22/2010 at 9:47am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Money
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML
by Peekaman / 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work
by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…