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Fruitmonster2's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by ow / 06/13/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
by greenhide8 / 05/28/2011 at 1:27am / United States (North Dakota) / Money
by Derek Lee / 05/22/2011 at 9:53am / United States (California) / Money
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy
by popcorn / 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML
by Jyocka / 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML
by humiliated / 01/14/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…