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Fruitmonster2

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Fruitmonster2
  • Town/Country : lincoln, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2329
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fruitmonster2 : Just ask me!

Fruitmonster2's last visitors

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Fruitmonster2's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Fruitmonster2's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (27028)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19032) - you deserved it (2390)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7486) - you deserved it (21374)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13665) - you deserved it (48304)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (49205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (3611)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16366) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

#19175931
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9926) - you deserved it (19567)

On 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm - misc - by Eric - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

#19161181
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5863) - you deserved it (24643)

On 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm - health - by Jared (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6741) - you deserved it (30307)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (50675)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (3017)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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