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About Fruitmonster2 : Just ask me!
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4477) - you deserved it (918)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (1492)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (861)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (1015)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4809) - you deserved it (1123)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2588) - you deserved it (7777)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4353) - you deserved it (7362)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2504) - you deserved it (6061)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3522) - you deserved it (11943)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1844) - you deserved it (12167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6478) - you deserved it (1071)
On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand
Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5227) - you deserved it (1102)
On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2974) - you deserved it (5137)
On 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm - misc - by Eric - United States
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4407) - you deserved it (16222)
On 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm - health - by Jared (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (21243)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
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