Fruitmonster2

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Fruitmonster2

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5289
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fruitmonster2 : Just ask me!

Fruitmonster2's page activity

Visits<b>Lorenzo1102</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>xJudii</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:37pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:44am<b>123catman</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 7:16pm<b>JohnBoyFsYL</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:10pm<b>LeslieAustin</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 12:21pm<b>lazyfoo92</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:30am<b>ronnie220</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:26pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:07am<b>stewy133</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 7:01pm<b>KingDingALing</b> - the 10/28/2012 at 9:06am<b>egc573</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 6:08pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 10:40pm<b>Ian20</b> - the 11/08/2011 at 12:20am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 11/07/2011 at 9:32am<b>jayson13</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 8:05pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 7:22am<b>Cairo_</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 9:37pm

Fruitmonster2's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Fruitmonster2's badges

Fruitmonster2's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

by g'day cunt / 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm / Australia (South Australia) / Animals

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

by mr_flarpin / 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

by justhelpful / 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm / Austria (Tirol) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

by fuckjuggalos / 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

by whoslade / 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous