Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fruitmonster2

Search for a member

Fruitmonster2

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3193
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fruitmonster2 : Just ask me!

Fruitmonster2's page activity

Visits<b>xJudii</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:37pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:44am<b>123catman</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 7:16pm<b>JohnBoyFsYL</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:10pm<b>LeslieAustin</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 12:21pm<b>lazyfoo92</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:30am<b>ronnie220</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 4:26pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:07am<b>stewy133</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 7:01pm<b>KingDingALing</b> - the 10/28/2012 at 9:06am<b>egc573</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 6:08pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 10:40pm<b>Ian20</b> - the 11/08/2011 at 12:20am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 11/07/2011 at 9:32am<b>jayson13</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 8:05pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 7:22am<b>Cairo_</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 9:37pm<b>n_epic_fail</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 10:45pm

Fruitmonster2's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Fruitmonster2's badges

Fruitmonster2's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (7093)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (2712)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

#20042763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (24050)

On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

#20034503
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (6517)

On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (6206)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16830) - you deserved it (34669)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (4548)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10736) - you deserved it (36862)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (1655)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (4787)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (2113)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (2752)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (3936)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: