FruitSalad4225

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FruitSalad4225

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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FruitSalad4225's page activity

Visits<b>kkt1209</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:27pm<b>breaking6883</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:39pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:57am<b>auro7</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:07pm<b>MalloryE</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>shawnymack101</b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:27am<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:55pm<b>Aero25</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 6:20am<b>boopityboppity</b> - the 01/06/2011 at 10:20pm<b>Lilu01</b> - the 10/20/2009 at 8:09am

FruitSalad4225's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FruitSalad4225's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

by haha / 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

by rochellamaya / 09/02/2011 at 8:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

by ant_hater / 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

by StudMuffinette / 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous