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FruitSalad4225

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FruitSalad4225

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 978
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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FruitSalad4225's page activity

Visits<b>breaking6883</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:39pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:57am<b>auro7</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:07pm<b>MalloryE</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>shawnymack101</b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:27am<b>Aero25</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 6:20am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 01/26/2011 at 1:07pm<b>boopityboppity</b> - the 01/06/2011 at 10:20pm<b>Lilu01</b> - the 10/20/2009 at 8:09am

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FruitSalad4225's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (3095)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (3757)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (2147)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (9638)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (8291)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (8715)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

#17164804
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (2590)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (7589)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (45932)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (45932)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

#17027029
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36088) - you deserved it (4640)

On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (4065)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10248) - you deserved it (43142)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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