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Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you totally deserved it (3323)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16797) - you totally deserved it (6578)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you totally deserved it (1192)
On 12/24/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, on facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to "How can Dan have over 500 facebook friends? Nobody even likes him" there were 42 likes, and twenty comments that said "agreed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you totally deserved it (7595) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by notliked (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you totally deserved it (2233) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11769) - you totally deserved it (56232)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was called by my sons school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4163) - you totally deserved it (57667)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter since we have a class together. He wrote one day "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny until I realized the date/time was when we have class together and i sit in front of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you totally deserved it (2141)
On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43404) - you totally deserved it (3051)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75948) - you totally deserved it (1687)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5945) - you totally deserved it (43830)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
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