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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FreshPie

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FreshPie
  • Town/Country : Loading...
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 14635
  • Number of comments : 384
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

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FreshPie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the pokemon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the pokemon theme song. FML

#16435078 (511)

I agree, your life sucks (11281) - you deserved it (51991)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (10642)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML

#16382228 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (4148)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:51am - love - by Fuckit - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (31878) - you deserved it (12559)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

#16369010 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (5866)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (13113)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (44181)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (41163) - you deserved it (2766)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (9361)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

#16024989 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (2798)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (30874)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

#15933616 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (1224)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm - health - by BigToe (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

#15899408 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (26342)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (8476)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (11974) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States