Freezingforheat

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Freezingforheat

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  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Freezingforheat's FML badges

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Freezingforheat's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm / Animals

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

by NotInterested / 08/23/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

by Nanana32 / 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

by Zanovitch / 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

by please don't back that thing up / 08/09/2013 at 1:00am / United States / Transportation

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

by thanksforthat / 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work