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Freedom92

Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 8:15pm) | Search for a member

Freedom92

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Freedom92 : Just looking for reasons to laugh. Here I am.:)

Freedom92's page activity

Visits<b>joshuaz1990</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:30pm<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 2:48pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 1:02pm<b>moksha</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 6:26am<b>princessEll</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 2:25pm<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 1:57pm

Freedom92's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Freedom92's badges

Freedom92's favorite FMLs

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (4560)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (7784)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37903) - you deserved it (5931)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (53132)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33211) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (33364)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39814) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (5764)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom



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