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Freedom92

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Freedom92
  • Town/Country : In your shoe, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 July 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Freedom92 : Just looking for reasons to laugh. Here I am.:)

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Freedom92's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (60298)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48621) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (3950)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (5453)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (4305)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (4386)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52582) - you deserved it (11026)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (5148)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (1862)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (1629)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (1258)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)



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