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Freedom92

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Freedom92
  • Town/Country : In your shoe, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 279
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Freedom92 : Just looking for reasons to laugh. Here I am.:)

Freedom92's last visitors

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Freedom92's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Freedom92's badges

Freedom92's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (7420)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (2584)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (4602)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (8142)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34676) - you deserved it (5288)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (3433)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53903) - you deserved it (4099)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43755) - you deserved it (7878)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (5555)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42258) - you deserved it (4579)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39569) - you deserved it (2531)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (9926)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55148) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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