About FrecklestheClare : Hi, I'm Clare, and I read FML's more than I post them :) reading your fucked up life makes me feel a hell of a lot better about my okay one.
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FrecklestheClare's favorite FMLs
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 12:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Love
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML
by firebombtimEFUCKERS / 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm / United States / Health
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…