FortuneCookie3

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FortuneCookie3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 891
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FortuneCookie3 : mssge me if you want to talk

FortuneCookie3's page activity

Visits<b>PumaGator</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:59pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:00am<b>unotrea</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:21pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:40pm<b>katielynn1219</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:09am<b>odod777</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Slackerz4Life</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:08pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:03am<b>alwaysthinking</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 6:22pm

FortuneCookie3's FML badges

Mobility

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FortuneCookie3's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Animals

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

by Imgonnahaveabf / 01/05/2012 at 7:06am / United States / Animals

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

by Kyle / 01/05/2012 at 1:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

by GeriGeriBoBeri / 12/28/2011 at 3:59am / United States / Transportation

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 2:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

by Poorman / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

by Maggie / 12/10/2011 at 11:45am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

by charliebravo77 / 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Work